fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
