ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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