8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
