I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
