Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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