She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
