I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize