I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
