the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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