we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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