We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
