Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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