I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
