i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
