i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
