The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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