I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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