nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
