Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
