When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
