he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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