he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
