I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
