would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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