I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
