His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
