So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
