fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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