do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
