Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
