is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
