Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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