five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I didn't notice because vodka
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The struggles of a small town man whore
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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