I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
