worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
