I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
