that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
