Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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