the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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