She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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