Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
