It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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