Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
