It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
