if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
