I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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