would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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