Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
