whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
