the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
