i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
