I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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