apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
