I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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