This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
