her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize