I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
