Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
