he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
