just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
