What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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