For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
