I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
